Thursday, February 11, 2010

Waiting to arrive in the NOW

Haven't posted anything for six months. But re-reading some old posts, I thought it was time. Even if no one else reads this, it's nice to have records of where I am at different points.

I am really blue. I have good stuff going on, and things keep cropping up in my career that give me more hope for a better future. But I feel no spark personally right now. I rehearsed my one man show today (by myself) and felt GREAT. But still feel no personal spark.

I feel I need to find my passion again. My heart feels like wet cardboard. I feel heavy in my heart and wish I could cry it out. I don't know what to do to shake it.

I think I am feeling old. I know that is lame. And the folks who have been on this blog that are older than me will smack me for saying that, but right now that's kinda the way I feel. No hot sauce in my soul.

I know it will probably be a phase. But I thought I should write about it and hopefully look back and laugh in a few (days? weeks?.....hopefully not months......! and let's not even talk about the "y" word!)

Workouts are good. Took a day off today....first one in too long! I think I am overdoing it at the gym sometimes, so I need to remember to take a knee sometimes......

Okay, more later. When I have my shit together and feel better!

Of course, if anybody reads this, I welcome any shot in the arm you have for me!


Terri said...

Hi Rob,

Sigh. I feel you, I really do. February may be the shortest month, but it seems like the longest, waiting for spring and sunshine and warmth.

I am, of course, older than you, but I don't want to smack you. Maybe if I saw you in person, I would. But I know what it is to feel old and heavy and blue for no reason, and I wish I could bring the blueness out of you and replace it with some happier color. I saw your picture in the Sunday paper and read about your one-man show, and I remember thinking "Damn, if anybody's in the kind of physical shape to perform a one-man show, it's Rob the Super Yoga man and athlete." Who knew you were having a case of the blahs?

I wish you well. Take it easy on yourself. The universe moves on, and so do we. Namaste!

Kelly said...

Dear Rob:
I agree with Terri - February needs to be nuked from the calendar. Such a short month creates such long, dark days! It's funny, I look back in all my journals and find that my February writing are always glum and lackluster. I am trying to muscle my way through this one, and I know you know what I mean! :)
Be gentle with you while you are here -- and if you need a pull out, send up a flare and folks will rally to help! How about a crazy Crossfit class to blast out the blahs? Would love to see you there! Peace!